I need to get my life back on track. I've been just living for way too long.

Had a long abscence went through a lot. I officially have no grandparents now.... but things are okay. I've learned to accept death as a part of life. I met a few people some have enhanced my life... some I had to drag out of my skin. On Christmas... Josh came to visit and stayed with me for a week!!! He was jumpy, having just got back from Afghanistan, but he relaxed and had fun. :)

And I've decided to get my Motorcycle permit this week and I'm going to try and return to school for Construction/masonry!!!

Things are on the rise people!!!

Life has shaped up!
I got a job, a car, and I am single! Wooo freedom!

I don't think I've ever been this happy, or this busy in my life.

My car is a geo prism, picked for the insane gas mileage. I completed an engine swap, with the help of my friend Will on it about a week ago, and it is running good. Now, all we need to do is the brakes, just since I feel like it really, and it's good to go. After I take my driver's test, I have a ton of mods I'm going to do, like paint and interior, etc. When I get the money anyways But it's only a matter of time. My first car!

Well.... this is a bit of poor-me ing on my bad karma.....
It started with me getting sick and missing my best friend's graduations. Then it progressed to have been given the wrong time for my other friend's wedding and showing up literally just after the ceremony. Then, I had a job lined up that all I needed to do was get my liscence and it was mine. (I never went for my liscence since I never had a decent car to borrow) I used my mom and dad's car, and took the test, and FAILED since cop was in a bad mood already....(the person before me was 25mins late) So I rescheduled for a week later when i could take it again. Two days before my next test, my parents car blew the head.....water poured into the engine, it slung a rod and died.......no other car could be found. So I couldn't get the job. Then My sister who I was living with at the time, started having all these insane drug and alcohol parties and inviting tons of people to live there and wanting me and Will to pick up the slack of them as well as ourselves, AKA pay the way for a bunch of drug heads and her alcohol....so we decided to ty and find a place to stay. Desperate, we asked Will's Grandparents. Then hurray! Will's grandparents were gonna rent us a trailer for $100 a month.... then the people who owned the lot wouldn't rent it to us since I wear black all the time and we're both ONLY 20 years old. THEN big sis kicked us out for refusing to pay double what she'd ever asked just since July 4th was coming up and she wanted to spend more of her money on a kegger she was throwing while we'd be away with Will's parents. So I, tired and shit, am now living with my parents again..... and they have no car and live 20 miles from town......in KY, in the summer.....So I'm screwed.... and at long last have decided to join the military. At least if I'm in there, I'll have a bed to sleep in and food.

It's weird but lately I've been blowing off a lot of my friends. I feel a little guilty since sometimes they're things important to the person, but I can't bring myself to do them anyway. I don't know what it is exactly, but I think it's just selfishness. In a way, I think I'm just done doing things I don't enjoy just for other people's sake. I don't know. At the same time I am trying to just focus on the things I need to do to get my life back on track. And really just stop worrying about everything and everyone that I cannot change or help. So maybe this is part of it. UGH